MARCH SADNESS

IS IT SPRING YET??

 

Is there any month drearier for sports fans than March? Or, at least, sports fans like me.  The NFL will do nothing but bore us with legal jargon for the next couple of months or so and MLB Spring Training just isn’t quite enough to get my juices flowing.  My main sports focus right now is debating with myself about who my eight keepers should be for my fantasy baseball team.  I actually found myself watching curling this past weekend.  Now I finally understand why the Winter Olympics were so wildly popular a year ago…there were no other viable sports options on TV!?! 

I was excited last weekend about the NFL Combine, but it was mildly disappointing.  Nothing major really got figured out there and scouts don’t actually put much stock in the numbers to begin with.  Besides, I did some math.  If a player with 4.48 speed is being chased by a guy with a 4.57 40 time, he’s still going to get tackled!!  There’s not a body-length worth of separation created in such a short time.  Now, the NFL turns our attentions to collective bargaining, and lockouts, and rookie salary caps.  There are millions of folks right now in Libya, Tunisia, and several other countries trying to figure out how to overhaul their constitutions and eradicate centuries of oppression, all the while being shot at and starving to death.  Why can’t the League and the Player’s Association negotiate a settlement for splitting up a few billion dollars fairly??

There are also several million people eagerly awaiting the March Madness tournament, which begins on the 15^th, but I have never really been a basketball fan and don’t see myself starting now.  It seems like all the best college-age basketball players are already in the NBA, so why bother watching?  I think this tournament also falls squarely in the category of Popular-Because-Nothing-Else-Is-On. 

As for the NHL, I will not watch it.  It is watered down with too many teams, too many big bodies, and too many defensive systems.  I promised myself in 2002 (after Jarome Iginla won the Art Ross with a disgusting 96 points) that I would not pay attention to the NHL again until a player topped the 140-point plateau for a season.  I’m still waiting.  And, I’m not holding my breath.

Still, I’ll wake up every morning in March.  I’ll prepare for my fantasy baseball draft and follow the NFL Labour Dispute (yes, it’s capitalized), but in general I’ll be disinterested and weary of the sporting world.  I’ll patiently wait for Opening Day and take small bits of joy when I find them.  Perhaps, I just need a hobby? Or maybe there’s some curling on TV somewhere?